Feedback Strategies: Why is it so hard to give feedback?

After reading a bit about how to give feedback, I realized I haven't given much good feedback this week. I sort of wish I had done this assignment before doing the blog commenting assignment, but it is too late for that I guess. From here on, I will do better!

Feedback from Max Pixel

First, I read Be a Mirror. In this article, it emphasized that you need to give specific feedback that reflects what is already in whatever you are giving feedback on. You shouldn't comment on things that are missing but rather on things that are present. Also, you need to focus on their process, not their results. This one can be hard because mostly, all we can see is the result. You have to look harder to see the process. The last thing I found important in this article is that you need to be impersonal when it comes to feedback. The thing we are giving feedback on isn't about us, but the person who wrote it.

Second, I read How to Craft Constructive Feedback. This passage is very similar to the other article I read, but it comes with a highly informative graphic about how to construct feedback. Be a witness, be a mirror, be a guide. Observe, describe, suggest. For myself, I find it hard to remember things. Having a visual like this one would really benefit me. I could even turn this into a little mantra so I don't forget, even without the visual.

Honestly, I think giving feedback is going to be tough no matter what. I hate receiving it, so I hate giving it. But I know it is important for this class, so I am going to make a conscious effort to be more constructive from here forward.

Feedback Thoughts: The Source of My Anxiety

Anxiety by Topher McCulloch

It is funny that this topic would come up when it did. Today I asked a friend to review some scholarship essays I wrote for the CASH Scholarships. I was nervous about submitting, but I didn't actually think she would say anything bad about my essays. Low and behold... she had a lot of stuff to correct! I was mad she gave me the help I asked for. What the heck is wrong with me? I didn't like feeling like I was bad at something. For this exact reason, I decided I needed to learn 5 Tips For Taking Feedback Like a Champ.

In this article, I quickly realized it matched my situation perfectly. I didn't want to feel bad or uncomfortable. My friend had my best interest in mind, but all I could see was that she thought my work wasn't good enough. Furthermore, I am not a bad writer. My essays could just be better. With her pointing out what needed to change, I was having trouble seeing that she didn't think it was totally terrible. Ultimately, she just wanted to help me get some money and I was bitter the whole time. I wish I hadn't procrastinated this assignment so I would have had these feedback tips before I asked someone in real life for feedback... my flaws seem to be piling up in this one.

The next article I read was Eight Things Students Should Do When They Make a Mistake. I chose this article because I hate failing and I hate being less than exceptional. Even if my work is turned in right before a deadline, I aim for it to be quality material. With my fellow peers getting ready to start criticizing my work, I am anxious I am going to have a hard time correcting my mistakes, so this article seems like a goldmine. As I mentioned earlier, I can tend to return feedback with bitterness and snappiness. I don't mean to be cranky, but the whole situation makes me feel tense. This article showed me that I just need to change how I am thinking about it. Feedback is given because the giver wants me to do better, not because they want to point out how horrible I am. I can't put my anxiety on other people just because they were willing to offer me advice. Furthermore, I need to value my own work. If I want to be exceptional, I need to be willing to take advice and improve my work.